Challenge 07

Not Allowing Differences to Separate Us.


When we boil it all down, commonly the things that separate us are mostly small things. When lots of small things accumulate they can seem so large. Keep short accounts, before going to sleep make sure you have resolved all the relationship issues of the day. Keep affirming your partner’s good points; this makes good healthy deposits into your relationship bank account.

Agreeing to disagree is part of the process of keeping relationships together. Remember that relationships are the most important part of any person’s life. So to restore or to repair relationships is a very important skill to learn and to use this skill will help to heal lots of broken relationships.

Relationships operate on a different level to knowledge; they operate in the spiritual realm which is a much higher level than knowledge. Love is an incredible bond that will hold people together for no more a reason than, ‘I love you’. It is not something that we understand as such, as it is a higher level than straight knowledge; it is in the spiritual realm.

As I have already said we can know a lot about someone, but not really know them. The real person is what makes them tick, what is their motivation, what is the value system in their life? This area cannot be gained just by knowledge, but only by experiencing life together, in varying circumstances. By seeing their responses to each situation that arises; By having an intimate relationship with a person is to experience their spiritual harmony whilst sharing yours; this can only be encountered when the challenges of divergence or disharmony have been resolved

When we try to understand with head knowledge, about someone we only see the actions and reactions, but that only shows a small part of whom they really are. To really know someone we must see the heart of a person, their motivation and their drive comes from the area of the heart. This takes time of being together in lots of various situations. Too often we look at the actions and reactions but not the motivations.

I have experienced lots of people in my life that I do not like, that is because of what I see if I just look at behaviour. We need to separate behaviour from who the person really is. I like the person but I don’t like their behaviour, way of thinking. Unfortunately I have witnessed too many people being judged by their behaviour rather than their character. So to say that person is no good, when their behaviour is the problem, when really the person has a good heart and they have made a behavioural mistake or two.

To speak negatively of a person destroys their character and sometimes stays with that person for the rest of their life. I recently met a young boy who was having difficulty with lots of areas in his life he was always in trouble with the police. I was trying to help him but was baffled to understand why he was having all these problems.


I questioned him on many occasions, as to his life, and why he thought these problems kept coming back. He had no idea, until I asked him if someone in his life had ever spoken negatively about him. His immediate response was no, until I asked him to think a bit more deeply, then he remembered that when he was about five, his uncle was at a BBQ at his place and his uncle said to him that “he would never be any good”. That statement had so scarred his spirit that he was acting out in his behaviour what his uncle had said he would be.

When we were able to identify the cause, then get him to break away from the power that negative statement over his life, then his behaviour changed so much that to my knowledge he was not in trouble with the police any more. The warning that I received from this was, be careful of what is said as sometimes it really sticks in the heart and that person can become permanently damaged by what has been spoken.

So to heal relationships is a bit more understanding and patience. It is being prepared to compromise, so that relationship can stay intact. The more effort that you put into relationships the more you can receive from them.


Fear has a paralysing effect upon us that stops mobility and causes us to make wrong choices.

Are You Allowing Differences to Separate You in Any Relationships?

Where on the scale below would you say you are right now
Lowest 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Highest
What would it take to move you one number higher?

(It is important that you include your answer on the line.)

Seeing that you can’t write your answer here. I would suggest that you download the word document from the link below.

This would also allow you to add notes about thoughts and feelings that you could review at a later date and see if or how they have changed.

Click to Download as a Word Document.
Note: If you are using Windows 7 and you Click On ‘Open’
you may get this.
Window Security Tag.
Just click on Cancel and the download should continue.

Go To Challenge

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Motivational Stories.

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