Reconnecting and Healing Relationships.

Broken relationships have had a devastating effect on our society, more in recent times. When a breakdown in relationships occurs it has a wide rippling effect that goes much further than the immediate family. It affects neighborhoods, communities and the whole country feels in some way, the negative effect of relationship breakdowns.

So What Can Be Done?

Firstly:
All relationship breakdowns happen because both parties are not willing to try to successfully resolve their issues. It always takes two for a breakdown to occur.

Secondly:
Blaming seems to become a major issue but the blame can always be laid at the feet of both parties involved, even if there is a 99% to 1% blame factor. The 1% still has the responsibility for that 1%, which maybe only a minute part of the whole problem but never the less just as important to get that part right, rather than blaming the other party. “Remember fix the problem not the blame.”

Healing Relationships.

There is an answer for all problems in life, some are simple while others are exceedingly complex, but be assured there is an answer if we are willing to keep searching to find it. There are many methods that have proven successful over the years, here are some of those Methods:

1. Talking Stick÷ Only the person holding the Talking Stick can speak everyone else must remain silent and each person has their turn to speak. Everyone else is to actively listen and to try and see the other person’s point of view. The Talking Stick is an Aboriginal Cultural Practice. What this does is, it allows each party to fully express themselves without interruption. When each person finishes their say, the Talking Stick is passed to the next person.

We can know a lot about someone without really knowing them.

2. Mediation÷ Often when breakdowns in communications occur, we have the need to bring in another skilled person to help resolve the issues. A mediator can see both sides of the argument and bring together both parties in a compromised agreement

3. Trusting Professional Advice÷ It is important to find a professional person that you can trust, then follow their advice.

4. Keep Seeking For Truth÷ When we set a goal to seek the truth. It will only happen as if we remain diligent in seeking that truth.

To maintain a balance in relationships it is important to understand the giving and receiving principle. As in the Trust Bank scenario in Challenge 3, we are either giving or taking in all the relationships that we have. So to know how to give in a generous manner is important for two reasons.

Firstly: giving stops us becoming or remaining selfish.

Secondly: giving, releases trust in us by others. Only when healing flows is trust and confidence restored, in the relationship.

Please understand when talking about giving, it is more about giving time and thoughtfulness than giving things. We have tried in our western culture to fix things with money or bought gifts, believe me; money does not fix relational problems. If it did why are there so many relationship breakdowns with people who have plenty of money? The best giving we can possibly do is just spending time with people, building our relationships.

Think of relationship building as sowing positive seeds, they need to be watered fertilized and cared for.

Negative seeds can grow and starve the relationship of growth, negative weeds need pulling out, this in itself causes some pain but while they are still small the pain is much less. When this negative seed grows it will cripple the best of relationships, building relationships is a lifelong event that we need to carefully guard and nurture. When all else is gone the thing that remains is the positive experiences gained through building relationships.

I am happily married and continuing in this same relationship for 43 years, over this period I have learnt some things that are worth noting.

Firstly: guard your relationship to keep it valuable and viable.

Secondly: charm your spouse or friend because if you don’t somebody else will.

This cleansing process continues for the rest of your journey through life. We being human seem to continually make mistakes, so the process of cleansing ourselves from negative things must continue.

Remember: that if you let negative in, you will always have negative out; what your mind is fed, is what your mouth will speak.

Feed your mind on positive thoughts this will help to nullify the automatic negative influences that you have.

Are You Good at Healing Relationships?

Or Are There Broken Hearts Where You’ve Been?

Where on the scale below would you say you are right now
Lowest 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Highest
What would it take to move you one number higher?

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(It is important that you include your answer on the line)

Seeing that you can’t write your answer here. I would suggest that you download the word document from the link below.

This would also allow you to add notes about thoughts and feelings that you could review at a later date and see if or how they have changed.

Click to Download as a Word Document.
Note: If you are using Windows 7 and you Click On ‘Open’
you may get this.

Just click on Cancel and the download should continue.